mark is literally the nicest human being on the fucking planet i will physically fight you
a homeless guy just said to me “do you tell jokes to make people laugh or to make people think you’re funny” and that is the most profound shit ive ever experienced
I asked my old science teacher this and he said “I make jokes to make myself laugh because I know I’m funny.”
some kid: just drop your trash on the floor it’ll be picked up that’s what the cleaners are paid for
me: my mama said we can’t be friends anymore effective right now immediately
Daily Show correspondent Michael Che tries to find a safe place to report from.
Whenever I watch Spock’s “live long and go fuck yourselves” scene in the first reboot movie I mourn the fact that Kirk wasn’t present because his reaction would have been gold like can we have an au where he was and is just there in the background like
Not the time for a dad joke.
the time is nigh
It makes me happy to know I’m pretty much the same height as Spider-Man.
Wait, Tony Stark’s not really 6’6” is he? That must be with the armor.
For some reason, it weirds me out that I’m taller than Cap and Punisher and the Thing, but it would weird me out if I wasn’t taller than Tony.
he’s 6’6” in his iron man suit. 616!Tony is around 6’1” or something out of his suit.
I’M GOIGN TO PISS I’M TALLER THAN WOLVERINE
Why the fuck is Wolverine so short
"They didn’t allow me to become a nurse because of my hijab. Thank you, I became a doctor instead" #BURN
GO OFF GO OFF
YAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS FUCK IT UP IN DEUTSCHLAND !